Do you know why I prefer to be awake at night? Why I dislike daylight so much?

Cause with the sun comes depression. And I just can't handle that anymore. So I self medicate with sleep. Sleep during the day, happy carefree at night. Sounds good to me. How long this will last, i'm not sure. I've battled with depression for years. I wont let it win now.

Til Next Time.

Do you ever just sit around and listen to music. Like not in the oh I need to dance way and not quite in the these lyrics are so deep kinda way. More in the i'm pissed and need to be pumped up and to rage dance to let it all go kinda way. Am I the only person who has a set list of songs just for when shes pissed?

I told you all this blog thing doesn't really work for me. I either have nothing to say or too much to say.

Why don't people ever realize i'm the older sister? I will never understand that.. seriously. Perhaps its because I don't seem as angry all the time. She does tend to bite at people. But people tend to know better than to piss me off. Cause I don't bite I maim. And I never regret it. It takes a lot to get me angry at you and when I am you will be sorry, and learn to never anger me again.

I have so many books to read. And yet all I keep reading is various Fan-fictions. Its like i'm going through an anti-reading faze only not since I am indeed reading.

Also the colder the weather gets the more I start to feel creative. I've painted my table, done a zentangle and crocheted all yesterday alone. Speaking of crochet, i've got hats in a store. We'll see how those sell. It may be a good thing or not, who knows.

So this has been a mini rant whatever. Til Next Time.

She said, she said "Don't come back. I want you gone before the morning comes."

It has been a good bit since i've even bothered with something like this in the first place. I haven't been in to much a writing type mood. Not even to share projects or ideas or even to rant. I haven't been feeling crafty either actually. Its somewhat sad but it happens. 

As of now i'm sitting on a floor, hunched over the laptop and moving my fingers but not really feeling anything that is coming forth. I just don't see the point. Or the joy in it anymore. I used to write all the time. Maybe I just miss pen and paper. That always seemed more kind towards creativity. Who knows? Maybe i'll buy a notebook and try again. Most likely not though.

Lets see what have I done lately. 

 A zentangle N for my bookcase

 A sugarskull with a gold tooth also for my bookcase

 A weird necklace that reminds me of Doctor Who for some reason.

And an odd necklace that reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.

That has been about it really.

Well til next time.

I wanna be drunk when I wake up

"On the wrong side of the right bed."

So i've been pretty depressed again lately. Its nothing new really. I've dealt with this sort of thing for years.

So I honestly don't know why i'm bothering to post this now anyways. But I figured i'd tell someone. Or rather something. I used to write notes when I was sad and then tear them up and throw them away. So this is my note now I suppose. And it already made me feel a bit better.

I'm so horrid

I never update often. I couldn't even keep up with 3 Things Thursdays. Ugh don't you just want to smack me? I do.  So whats there to talk about since last time? 

I drew a picture of my self in Gryffindor robes because of the 5 nights of Harry Potter.

I rocked this as my display photo that week.

 I went to Niagara Falls for Nadine's birthday!

We went and saw the penguins.

 And the falls.

 Spent Easter with the family and acted like a kid.

 Went to the baby shower for my soon to be new niece.

Watched as my brother was wrapped in TP to make him into a baby.

 And helped win the bottle of vodka using team work with the cousins and Nadine

So just had some fun.

Went to a bridal show and made Nadine dance with me well we waited for the fashion show.

Enjoyed a drink well gossiping and talking about memories.

Joined Tumblr , Pottermore (PatronusSun6193) and Pinterest.

I will post something better soon I promise.

Til Next Time.

Love and Family

So there was a topic discussion on one of the sites I visit. It was about how this woman is not close to her sister in any way. And she wanted to know if others were or were not close with their siblings. And it got me thinking and here's a better thought out response.

There are two people whom I am retard-edly close with. And one of them does happen to be my sister. And I have come to find that most sisters are not as close as we are. We still have sleepovers, and makeup fun, photo shoots, play video games together, drink, just hang out, chit chat and gossip.

Sometimes we spend whole nights eating junk food and watching old movies or scary movies. Sometimes we plan pranks to pull on other people. Sometimes we have giggle fits and watch bad British comedy shows.

And then we have our bad times. We fight both verbally and physically. We argue and disagree. We have different tastes in music and geek out to different things. We annoy each other. Scare each other. Plot against one another. And we stay mad anywhere from five minutes to days on end. And then we just go back to doing things we like.

Sometimes we just use the other to vent. And sometimes we use the other to laugh.

So in the end yes i'm close to my sister.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
We're lucky to be as close as we are, cause most aren't.

Til Next Time

Things that used to grace my MySpace

Three Fandoms

The Things Thursday: Fandom

I'm one of those people who can have epic fangirl moments from simple things. Mine mostly involve actors/characters from Harry Potter or actors/characters from Doctor Who.
Today i'll share some Harry Potter goodness.

3 Very Potter Moments
I love A Very Potter Musical and Sequel. I have never laughed as much as I did well watching that. The characters are great and its just amazing.

1. Draco's Daddy comes to get his death eaters into the Quidditch game.
Draco is played brilliantly.

2. Harry and Rons bromance.
Greatest friendship ever.

3. Umbridge smash!
I hated Umbridge in both the books and movies but in this play I love her.
Also this is the sexiest man i've ever seen in a dress.

2. Quotes.
These are quotes from the movies and the musical.

1. Draco Malfoy: [to Harry, disguised as Goyle] Why are you wearing glasses?
Goyle: Oh, uh... reading.
Draco Malfoy: Reading? I didn't know you could read.

2. Draco: "Now you're just being cute. I CAN'T GO TO PIGFARTS. IT'S ON MAAARS, YOU NEEED A ROCKETSHIP. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died; Look at this. Rocketship Potter. Starkid Potter. Moooonshoes Potter. TRAVERSING THE GALAXY FOR INTERGALATIC TRAVELS TO PIGFARTS."

3. Voldemort: When I had a body, I had mad game with the bitches!

3. Videos!
Random videos that I enjoy.

1. Shit Potterheads Say


2. Tom Felton learns that Draco is preformed by a girl.


3. Favorite Line


Til Next Time

Do you know why my blog is named what it is?

Have you ever wondered why?

For the longest time, longer then I can remember I was a sad child. Depressed to the core. If the world ended and I died I would of been happy. Death seemed like the greatest thing I could amount to. To this day I feel that I shouldn't be here in all honesty. But that's another sad tale for another dark day. The world used to be grey for me. I only saw comfort in the darkest of blacks and greys. I disliked color with a passion.

And then things changed.
The depression slowly ebbed away.
And things brightened.
Color became something of pure wonder.
It was amazing the amount of greens and deep oranges there were.
The brightness of yellow and the regal-ness of purples and lilacs.
All of a sudden life was in color.
And I fell in deep love with these colors that I missed out on almost my whole life.

And sure yeah I still love black and grey and white. It still has this special place in my heart it always will. But now its surrounded by Oranges and Reds, Blues, Greens, Yellows, even Purples.
And it was my love for all these colors that I wanted to share somehow. And so I figured if i'm going to 'blog' i'm going to throw as many colors into it as I can.

Til Next Time.

Three Things Thursday

No real theme this week.
So lets start it out.

1. Cartoons I grew up on. They don't make them like this anymore.

1. Doug was one of my favorite cartoons growing up.

2. Ahh Real Monsters was a great cartoon.

3. Kablam was an odd mash up of different things.

2. Three Harry Potter Icons

1. Draco Malfoy

2. Hermione and Harry
(I ship them)

3. Draco Malfoy

3. Three Books I read forever ago

1. Demons Don't Dream -Piers Anthony

2. Demon In My View - Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

3. Tithe - Holly Black

Til Next Time.

I've Been Once Bitten

For whatever reason i've been bitten by my drawing muse.
It may be because last year I didn't draw as much.
Sometimes I just don't want to, others its all I want to do.
Suffice it to say I thought i'd share what i've done so far.

Til Next Time

Three Things Thursday: Number 3

Three Things Thursday.
Syfy/Fantasy edition.

First up we have some Whovian goodness.
Three Companions

1. Rose Tyler.
She is my favorite companion. I feel like she helped the doctor stop being so angry all the time. And she brought romance. Which I just loved. I am forever and Doctor/Rose shipper.

2. The Master.
Well not really a companion, he is one of my favorites. I believe you really grow to love him.
And I do find myself still tapping my fingers to the sound of the drums.

3. Donna Noble.
Shes sassy and brilliant. She made things far more fun than the others did. I was very sad to see her leave as she did. To never remember your time with the doctor has to suck.

Fantasy Shows/Mini-series

1. The 10th Kingdom.
I absolutely loved this series. It was easy to get wrapped into the story and to fall in love with the characters.


2. Once Upon A Time.
This is a series that is fairly new and its pretty good. I haven't been bored with the story yet.


3. Alice.
A syfy mini series. I thought it was a great twist from what everyone is used to. I loved the white knight and hatter.

Werewolves

1. Ginger Snaps
I love Ginger Snaps. It is definitely a were wolf movie that I was able to enjoy all the way through.

2. Red Riding Hood.
This movie was barely good, but I did like the look of the wolf.

3. Teen Wolf.
A classic. How could you not love this movie?

Til Next Time